Everyone,
I have been busy with other things totally unrelated to Leon, and have neglected this blog. Below you will find a letter I sent to a friend, and figured it would fill people in some of the latest adventure in my summer. In essence, my wife's aunt described it best, "Matt, your summer has SUCKED!" I guess she calls them as she sees them.
I also thought that since the blog is really starting to get away from the "Leon" aspect and more about my life, I thought a name change was appropriate.
Here's the update:
My mother passed away in her sleep at about 2:30 yesterday morning. It is such a relief for Caren and me to know that Mom is now at peace. We are not upset, oddly, as the mother I knew left so long ago, and the only thing that remained was a shell of who she once was. I called both of my brothers yesterday morning and let them know (I had warned them last week that this was coming and they needed to prepare themselves (see, I really do have a heart) I figured if I was up at an ungodly hour, so should they (nah, not true, I did it because I wanted them to know). I told them there is no need to come up here – that we will get together at Thanksgiving or Christmas, and celebrate her life then – as she would want. She always thought funeral services were a waste of money, emotion, and flowers (now you know where I get my bizarre sense of humor). I called the mortuary and notified them that they could pick up the body (You may find her obituary at www.ellersmortuary.com, or just clicking HERE). I woke Caren up and told her what happened, and she sat up in bed and let out a great big, “Hurray!” and said that before she went to bed Sunday night and anytime she would wake up in the night, she prayed and then kept sending thoughts to my mother telling her to just let go, and that it was time to move on. Then we freshened up, and went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast!
Cracker Barrel was one of my mother’s favorite places to eat, and over the years, the waiters and waitresses took such good care of her and treated her so well, as the Alzheimer’s became more pronounced. As making decisions began to frustrate her early on, instead of asking her what she wanted, they would simply ask, “Do you want the usual Miss Marilyn?” and she would respond, “Of course you silly.” If we were there in the morning, that meant a child’s order of pancakes with peaches on top and hot chocolate to drink, and if it was lunch or dinner, that meant meatloaf and, of course, hot chocolate. It could be the hottest day in the year, and they knew to bring hot chocolate, and heaven forbid if they forgot the whipped cream. The staff at Cracker Barrel would even cut up my mother’s food when they brought it just to give Caren and me a little five minute respite from taking care of Mom. So it was a fitting place to have breakfast.
The hardest phone call to make when we got home was to my mother’s brother (DUH, my uncle), as while he is the oldest, this now makes him the last one alive from his mom, dad, brother, and sisters. He lost his wife earlier this year, and now his last sibling, so I feel for him greatly. When he married his wife, he converted to Catholicism, and I learned with the burial of my grandmother (a non-Catholic) that it is pretty much a no-no for someone to be cremated in the Catholic religion. There was quite an argument, especially since my grandmother was Lutheran, and my grandmother was not cremated as she desired, but instead was buried. However, my mother had specific instructions spelled out in her Will as to what would or would not take place once she was dead. She specifically said that she was to be cremated, and there was to be no service. So when my Uncle Jack (a man I respect and love dearly) asked me if I had picked out a nice burial plot for his baby sister, I simply said, “Don’t worry, everything is taken care of, Sir.” He was satisfied with that answer and told me, “Good job, my little Rusty” which made me very happy, as I would not like to flat out lie to the man. You know, when I was a kid, I hated to be called “Rusty” by the entire family, and now I sort of miss it.
It is funny, I stayed up all night Sunday night, knowing that she was going to pass during the night. I told Caren earlier during the day on Sunday that I needed to take a nap because I would have to be up early Monday morning making calls because Mom was going to die during the night.
No matter what, I am relieved, and very thankful my mother’s ordeal is now over. She went peacefully, calmly, and free of pain during her sleep, which fittingly I think it should have been. Of course, it still hurts, but I am happy she is now free.
Remember no tears or sad feelings for me, only positive thoughts!
